


I Can't Remember

by RoLalismyOTP



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoLalismyOTP/pseuds/RoLalismyOTP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi thinks Karkat looses his memory carrying out her challenge. But it seems odder forces than amnesia are in play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I was bored and messed with the lyrics of that song "Once Upon a December" from Anastasia and this happened: Crabdad holds me safe and warm  
> Gamzee honking a silver horn  
> Figures fighting gracefully  
> Across my memory
> 
> Far away, long ago  
> Glowing dim as an ember  
> Things my bloodpusher used to know  
> Things it yearns to remember
> 
> And a game i have played  
> Once upon alternia
> 
> So why not write a fic where Karkat gets amnesia?

"Oh, Gog. How could I have let this happen!?"

Terezi sprinted through the forest, her forest, the words dancing through her head over and over until they blurred together.  
Her ankles were streaked with teal where thorny bushes had been unrelenting and her knees were covered in dirt from the many times she had tripped but Terezi kept barreling through. She had learned many things that afternoon. She now knew Karkat would never back down from a challenge. Not even when it was terribly dangerous.

Worst of all, Terezi knew that if she didn’t reach Karkat in time to prevent him from vising her lusus he didn’t have much of a chance of living past 8 sweeps.

It wasn’t that her lusus would intentionally kill anyone, but only the teal blood could directly touch her egg and not be mentally handicapped from the overwhelming stimuli the dragon exuded. 

And Terezi had tricked Karkat into going and finding out what color her lusus' shell was. 

Terezi tried to rationalize with herself. He didn’t need to touch the egg to find that out , after all…  
But what if he did anyway?

Terezi finally launched herself into the clearing, panting. 

"K4RK4T!" He was standing a bit away from the egg and looked fine to her. The girl shakily embraced her friend and when she pulled away noticed that teal had stained his sweater.   
When had she started crying?

"TH4NK GOG YOUR3 OK4Y!" She grinned up at him, her grin fading a bit when she noticed his furrowed brow and confused look.

"UH... WHO ARE YOU?"

Terezi laughed a nervous, unhappy laugh.   
"H3H3H3. STOP 1T K4RK13S, 1TS NOT R3411Y FUNNY." 

Karkat took a step backwards.   
"WHERE AM I?" He looked around and squinted upward. "IS THAT THE RIGHT COLOR?" He asked, pointing up at the sky.

Terezi was frozen in shock. And then the tears came. "YOU TOUCH3D 1T. D1DN'T YOU." It wasn’t even a question. She looked pointedly at the egg. The teal blood didn’t think she could look at this not Karkat any longer. He hadn’t even sworn once.

Karkat swung around and frowned at the egg. "YEAH. I THINK I DID. DARN. I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER."   
Darn? Was that the best he could do? Terezi's heart felt as it was being squeezed by an iron fist as she realized what had happened.   
"COM3 ON. W3 SHOU1D G3T YOU TO KANAYA."


	2. Chapter 2

Terezi held her head in her hands and sighed. As soon as she'd dragged Karkat - or what was left of him at least - to Kanaya and explained what had happened, Kanaya had clucked her tongue and forced Terezi out of the equation. Now Terezi sat in a pile of her scalemates, wondering if Karkat would be this way forever. She bit her lip hard to hold back tears. Sure he was a crabby asshole most of the time, but he was HER crabby asshole. And now shed never get to try any quadrants with him, let alone just stay friends. It would never be the same.  
And it was all her Gogdamn fault.

Her thinking was interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Y3S?"

To her surprise it was Karkat that stuck his head around the corner of the door.  
He rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously, a habit that defied amnesia it seemed. "KANAYA TOLD ME I SHOULD TRY TO SPARK MY MEMORY BY TALKING TO OLD FRIENDS." He sighed and motioned to her room. "SHE GAVE ME DIRECTIONS HERE. SORRY IF I’M INTERRUPTING ANYTHING."

If Kanaya thought his memory could be sparked maybe there was some hope after all...   
"NO, 1 W4SNT DO1NG 4NYTH1NG." She refrained from patting the pile next to her invitingly. She didn’t really know the new Karkat yet.

He stood awkwardly before pulling a chair away from her desk and sitting in it backwards, the back pressed up against his chest, legs straddling the seat. Old habits did indeed die hard.

"UH..." Color flooded the cherry bloods cheeks. To Terezi it smelled a bit off. 'You’re ridiculous!' She chided herself inwardly, 'how would anything about his blood have changed?'

"SO UM. CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF?"  
Terezi bit her lip to distract herself from the pain in her heart. "1M BL1ND..." She started, "1V3 41W4YS W4NT3D TO B3 4 L3G1SLAC3R4TOR. 1 L1K3 DR4GONS TOO..." She stopped, unsure how to continue.  
The not Karkat seemed to have an clear goal.  
"CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT OUR... RELATIONSHIP?"  
Terezi raised an eyebrow. "WH4T DO YOU M34N?"  
"WELL, WERE WE..." his ears glowed with warmth "FLUSHED FOR EACHOTHER?"  
Terezi felt teal come into her cheeks but felt quite defiant.   
"TH4TS B3TW33N M3 4ND H1M!"  
"... I AM HIM."


	3. Chapter 3

"NO YOUR3 N..!" Terezi stopped herself and took a deep breath.  
"LOOK UH... K4RK4T, 1TS NOT THAT 1 DONT W4NT TO B3 YOUR FR13ND OR H3LP YOU, 1TS JUST TH4T IN YOUR CURR3NT ST4T3 YOU 4R3 NOT TH3 K4RK4T TH4T 1 KN3W."

The boy troll seemed to understand. His shoulders slumped and his face reddened. "I’M SORRY. MAYBE I CAN FIND SOME OTHER WAY TO JOG MY MEMORY." And with that he turned tail and absconded. Terezi looked after him, surprised. She still wanted to help him, she just didn't want to reveal how she'd been flushed for him for sweeps.

"NO, W41T!"

No response.

The teal blood sighed and pulled herself out of her scalemate pile. It was about time to push aside the depression and guilt and do something for once. And wearing her red scalemate cape for comfort wouldn't hurt, surely.  
\---  
Terezi caught herself circling back around to Karkat's temporary room in Kanaya's extensive hive and bit her lip.   
Ouch.   
Even though she told herself that Karkat had completely changed she knew that it was not entirely true. There was still Karkat in him. The problem was knowing how much was left. 

She rather suspected that the red blooded troll had convinced Kanaya to let him return to his hive while the sun was still down, being the independent idiot he always was.  
But to confirm this theory she'd have to find Kanaya. And Kanaya was nowhere to be found. 

"PROB4BLY TROLL1NG H3R HUM4N G1RLFR13ND." Terezi muttered to herself. "M4YB3 1F 1 GO TO TH3 ROOF 1'LL B3 4BL3 TO S33 K4RK4T. H3 H4SN'T H4D 3NOUGH T1ME TO G3T P4ST TH3 TR33S 1F H3 H4S L3FT."


	4. Chapter 4

"HMMMM. 1 DON'T S33 H1M..."  
"WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?"  
Terezi turned in surprise, effectively tripping on her trailing cape and falling face first. Moments before the impact she smelled the heavy thuds of footsteps as Karkat tried to catch her.

"OWWW"

Unfortunately he'd never been particularly graceful, or speedy for that matter.  
The nubby horned troll crouched at her side and she felt waves of anxiety roll of him. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" She sensed his hand a few inches from her shoulder, hovering uselessly in Karkat's fear of upsetting her further. Terezi rolled onto her back and grabbed his still hovering hand, using it to pull herself to her feet.

"1'M FINE."

He brushed off his hands on his thighs, a gesture that probably would have annoyed the real Karkat to no end, and rose to his feet too.  
Terezi faced him, using her nose to try to judge his feelings. Surprisingly he smelled more confident than usual, as if he had matured.  
"YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME, WEREN'T YOU?"  
"..."  
"DON'T WORRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. I KNOW IT WAS JUVENILE OF ME TO LEAVE OUR CONVERSATION SO ABRUPTLY WITHOUT TELLING YOU WHY, BUT I COULDN'T STAND CONTINUING THIS FARCE."  
This Karkat didn't sound right at all. He sounded so... Pompous.  
"I ESPECIALLY DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BECOME TRIGGERED."

Yeah, like that! Triggered? What did that even mean?

"I AM UNDER THE BELIEF THAT I MAY HAVE DONE MORE THAN LOSE RECENT MEMORIES BY TOUCHING THE EGG OF YOUR LUSUS. IT SEEMS THAT PERHAPS YOUR 'KARKAT'S' PERSONALITY WAS, WELL, SUPPRESSED, BY MINE, WHICH SEEMS TO BE HIS PERSONALITY IN ANOTHER REALITY. IT MAY PROVE CONFUSING TO ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF, WHO HAS NEVER FELT THESE SENSATIONS, BUT AS MEMORIES RETURNED TO ME, AS THEY DID ESPECIALLY QUICKLY IN YOUR PRESENCE, I FOUND THAT MOST OF THEM, CONTAINING A TROLL WHO'S SIMILARITIES TO YOU ARE ALARMING, WERE OF A VERY DIFFERENT SOCIETY AND WORLD. PERHAPS I AM THE POTENTIAL KARKAT OF SUCH A WORLD, OR MAYBE I TRUELY EXIST IN SUCH A WORLD, BUT FOR NOW MY ESSENCE HAS BEEN CAPTURED IN THIS BODY."

Karkat, not Karkat, finally took a breath. Terezi took her opportunity to cut in.

"4R3 YOU S4Y1NG TH4T YOUR3 NOT K4RK4T 4T 4LL?" The teal blood felt her face scrunch up in confusion.

"YES." The alternate Karkat seemed to sense her overwhelmed think pan and gave her a minute to absorb it all. When Terezi finally put it all together her voice became hushed.

"W1LL 1 3V3R G3T K4RK4T B4CK?"


	5. Chapter 5

Inhale  
Exhale  
Inhale  
Terezi regulated her breaths, hoping it would stop her shaking.   
She held up an arm.   
No such luck.

"4R3 YOU SUR3 TH1S W1LL WORK?"  
Karkat not Karkat took a step closer to Pyralsprite's egg.   
"NO. BUT I ASSURE YOU IT'S BETTER THAN TRYING NOTHING." 

He held a hand out gingerly to the egg... 

"NO! WA1T!"

The cherry blooded troll gave a surprisingly in character sigh.   
"TEREZI. YOU NEED TO LET ME TRY THIS. WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE YOUR 'KARKAT' BACK?"  
Terezi nodded and then quickly shook her, lips pressed tightly together. It was not that she preferred this troll to the asshole she was used to, but so many things could go wrong!

"WH4T 1F 1T K1LLS YOU?"  
Her voice was shaky but she continued-  
"WH4T 1F YOUR3 JUST R3PL4C3D W1TH 4NOTH3R ALT3RN4T3 K4RK4T?"  
The troll shook his head and shrugged.   
"I SEE NO OTHER OPTION."

With that he stuck his hand out, fingers braced expectantly against the hard shell.

"K4RK4T..."  
Terezi felt her heart lurch painfully when he fell to the ground, unmoving.


	6. Chapter 6

"K4RKL3S..." Terezi's palm hovered uncertainly above her dead friend's head, tears dripping steadily from her face. It hit her quite suddenly. She'd never again hear his distinctive yells, see his fanged frown. Never again make the cranky asshole smile. Terezi broke, pulling his body into her lap, burying her face in his sweater, sobbing in time with his faint heartbeats.

Wait.

Faint heartbeats?

Heartbeats?!?

"K4RK4T???" The boy moaned, limp in her arms.   
"W4K3 UP. COM3 ON 4SSHOL3 - W4K3 UP!!"

She shook him and then dropped him back into her lap, hysterical.  
"SOM3ON3! SOM3ON3 PL34S3 H3LP M3!!!"  
The forest echoed with her shouts, but she already knew no one would be around in this part of the forest. That’s why she lived here after all.

Karkat made a rather undignified groan and his eyelids fluttered.  
"K4RK4T?" The teal blood forced her breaths to slow and willed the boy to wake.  
"TEREZI?"  
His voice was weak, but he wasn't dead. His blinks became more rapid and his eyes fluttered open. "TEREZI, WHAT'S WRONG?"  
With each passing second the boy seemed to regain strength. He raised his arm, touching the trail of cerulean on her cheeks.   
"WHAT HAPPENED?"  
Terezi could only stare.   
"FUCK TEREZI, ARE YOU OKAY?"

She curled inward on him, face back against his chest. She smelled red rise into his cheeks. Damn him, getting embarrassed as she cried into his stupid shirt. He pushed her off, kneeling.

Terezi hung her head. Of course he didn't feel that way about her. He didn't even want to –

Warm arms wrapped around her small form and Terezi's sniffs redoubled. "SHHHHH..." He rubbed circles against her back comfortingly. Karkat's chin rested on her shoulder and dug in almost painfully. But she was glad of the closeness. 

"FLUSHED FOR YOU..." Terezi could tell that his whisper was meant to be too quiet for her to hear but her senses weren't extra sensitive for nothing. A grin grew on her lips.

"H3H3H3H3H3"  
"FUCK 'REZI, WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?"  
"YOUR3 SO ADORABL3."   
Red lit up his face deliciously.  
Terezi pressed her lips against his shyly.  
"ADORABLOODTHIRSTY" he murmured, returning the kiss.

Her face was still flushed teal from crying but Terezi felt that maybe she'd be okay.


End file.
